LifeQuoteSayings Terms Of Service
Welcome to LifeQuoteSayings.com, one of the most fun and supremely educational sites on the web, created by BrainyMedia, Inc., a corporation doing business in the Emerald State. We thought we would take a break from the skiing in the rain, to write these Terms of Service, which apply to this website, our corresponding mobile website, our LifeQuoteSayings(R) mobile app and any other online features that link to these Terms (collectively, the “Site”). This document constitutes a legally-binding agreement (“Agreement”) governing the terms of providing you with our service. We reserve the right to provide you with operating rules or additional terms that may govern your use of the Site generally, unique parts of the Site, or both (“Additional Terms”). Any Additional Terms that we publish or otherwise provide to you are hereby incorporated by reference into these Terms. To the extent any Additional Terms conflict with these Terms, the Additional Terms will control.
The material provided on the Site is protected by law, including but not limited to United States copyright law and international treaties. We make no representation that the Site or its content is appropriate or available for use in locations other than the United States, and access to it from territories where its contents are illegal or otherwise regulated is prohibited. If you choose to access the Site from locations other than in the United States, you do so at your own initiative, at your own risk, and are responsible for complying with all applicable local laws. We reserve the right to limit, in our sole discretion, the provision and quantity of any feature, product or service to any person or geographic area. Any offer for any feature, product or service made on the Websites is void where prohibited.
Throughout this document, the words “LifeQuoteSayings,” “LifeQuoteSayings.com,” “BrainyMedia, Inc.,” “us,” “we,” and “our,” refer to us, BrainyMedia, Inc., as is appropriate in the context of the use of the words. Likewise, the words “you” and “your” refer to you, the person who is being presented with this document for your agreement. Also, the sky is blue and grass is green.
2. Changes to the Site and Terms
We may update these Terms from time to time, and we may amend them at any time to incorporate additional terms specific to additional features, materials, products, opportunities, or services that we may make available on or through our Site. All such updates and amendments are effective immediately upon notice thereof, which we may give by any means, including, but not limited to, by posting a revised version of these Terms or other notice on the Site. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR REGULARLY REVIEWING THE SITE TO OBTAIN TIMELY NOTICE OF ANY SUCH UPDATES AND AMENDMENTS, AS YOUR CONTINUED USE OF THE SITE SIGNIFIES YOUR CONTINUING CONSENT TO BE BOUND BY THESE TERMS. Such changes, updates, or amendments shall not serve to constitute a default or termination by LifeQuoteSayings of these Terms.
We also expressly reserve the right to make any changes that we deem appropriate from time to time to the Site or to any information, text, data, databases, graphics, images, logos, software, features, services, URLs, technology, documentation, or interactive features and other materials within the Site (all such materials, and any compilation, collection, or arrangement thereof, the “Content”).
3. Description of Service and Disclaimer
The Site provides the world’s largest famous quotations website and offers a free, all-access pass to the world of quotations. We educate and entertain audiences with family-friendly quotations from history’s most prominent figures through to today’s newsmakers – famous celebrities, athletes, politicians, authors, and everything in between. LifeQuoteSayings is supported by ad revenue generated from ads that appear on our Site.
In keeping with our mission to share our knowledge with the world, LifeQuoteSayings provides a hand-selected ‘Quote of the Day’ on our Quote of the Day page, on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Google+. You can ‘Like’ us, Follow us, +1 us, or sign up for our RSS feeds to receive our daily quote in your newsfeed.
Unlike certain websites (which shall remain nameless… but you know who you are), we strive to source our quotes and review them to ensure their accuracy. However, we can’t provide any 100% assurances about the quotes we post. That said, most people find our site enormously satisfying, and they love and adore our wonderful site.
Since fans share our unbridled enthusiasm for quotations, our LifeQuoteSayings submission form allows users to upload and submit quotes by famous people, provided that the user provides a reference URL as an accompanying source that verifies when, where and by whom the quote was spoken or written. While we appreciate submissions, we cannot and do not guarantee that we will publish them. Visitors can also email suggestions to us; we appreciate these, but there’s no guarantee we will follow them. The Site does not enable users to upload or post quotes directly to our Site for public view. A human being (not a quote-bot!) reviews each and every submission and suggestion submitted. While we actively respond to submissions and suggestions by making appropriate additions, changes or enhancements to our site, we do not reply to individual submissions or suggestions.
We also allow users to create a user account through our subscription service, which allows them to view, collect, share and discuss quotes on our Site (the “Subscription Service”).
The Site may enable access to third-party services and websites. Use of the Site or our services requires Internet access, which may require that you accept additional terms of service. We are not responsible for any such terms of service. You are solely responsible for complying with the terms of service and use of any third-party website.
4. Registration and Account Security
You are not required to register to use the Site, but may not be able to access some content or use certain services or features without registration, including the Subscription Service. To register as a user, you must provide a valid email address and select a unique username and password to be used in conjunction with your account (“Account”). If you become a registered user, you agree that you will provide true, accurate and complete registration information and, if such information changes, you will promptly update the relevant registration information. You are responsible for maintaining the confidentiality of your password and are fully responsible for all uses of your password and Account, whether by you or others. You agree to (a) keep your password confidential and not share it with anyone else; and (b) immediately notify us of any unauthorized use of your password or Account or any other breach of security. We are not liable for any loss or damage arising from your failure to comply with these obligations.
5. License to Access and Use
You may access and use our Site only for your personal use. Any other access to or use of the Site or its content constitutes a violation of this Agreement and may violate applicable copyright, trademark, or other laws.
You may not access, use, or copy any portion of the Site or its content through the use of bots, spiders, scrapers, web crawlers, indexing agents, or other automated devices or mechanisms. You agree not to remove or modify any copyright notice or trademark legend, author attribution, or other notice placed on or contained within any of the Site’s content. Except as expressly authorized by us in writing, in no event will you reproduce, redistribute, duplicate, copy, modify, distribute, transmit, create derivative works based upon, publicly display, publish, sell, resell, or exploit for any commercial purpose any portion of the Site or its Content or any access to or use of the Site or its Content.
Furthermore, you may not:
- circumvent, disable or otherwise interfere with security-related features of the Site including, without limitation, any features that prevent or restrict use or copying of any content or enforce limitations on the use of the Site;
- transmit, distribute or upload programs or material that contain malicious code, such as viruses, timebombs, cancelbots, worms, trojan horses, spyware, or other potentially harmful programs or other material or information;
- collect or harvest any personally identifiable information from the Site including, without limitation, user names, passwords, or email addresses;
- attempt to or interfere with the proper working of the Site, or impair, overburden, or disable the same;
- decompile, reverse engineer, or disassemble any portion of the Site;
- use network-monitoring software to determine architecture of or extract usage data from the Site;
- encourage conduct that violates any local, state or federal law, either civil or criminal, or impersonate another user, person, or entity;
- affect us adversely or reflect negatively on us, the Site, our goodwill, name or reputation or cause duress, distress or discomfort to us or anyone else, or discourage any person, firm or enterprise from using all or any portion, features or functions of the Site, or from advertising, linking or becoming a supplier to us in connection with the Site;
- engage in any conduct that restricts or inhibits any other user from using or enjoying the Website, App or Services.
Violation of any of these Terms may result in termination of your Account and access to the Site at any time without notice. We reserve the right to determine, in our sole discretion, what further action may be taken in the event of any discovered or reported violation of these Terms.
6. User Submissions
By disclosing or offering any information to us, including quotes, ideas, suggestions or other information (each, a “Submission”), either through your use of the Site or otherwise, you authorize LifeQuoteSayings to make such copies thereof as we deem necessary, including to facilitate the posting and storage of the Submission on the Site. By making a Submission, you automatically grant, and you represent and warrant that you have the right to grant, to LifeQuoteSayings an irrevocable, perpetual, non-exclusive, transferable, royalty-free, worldwide license (with the right to sublicense) to use, copy, adapt, publish, publicly perform, publicly display, reformat, translate, excerpt (in whole or in part) and distribute such Submission for any purpose, commercial, advertising, or otherwise, on or in connection with the Site or the promotion thereof, to prepare derivative works of, or incorporate into other works, such Submission, and to grant and authorize sublicenses of the foregoing. You also grant us the right, but not the obligation to use your biographical information including, without limitation, your name, user name and general geographical location in connection with broadcast, print, online, or other use or publication of your Submission. You waive any and all claims you may now or later have in any jurisdiction to so-called “moral rights” or rights of “droit moral” with respect to the Submission.
By making a Submission, you represent and agree that all information that you provide to us in connection with your access to and use of the Site is true, accurate, and complete to the best of your knowledge and belief. You also agree that you will not post or transmit any material that violates Section 5 above or:
- violates or infringes in any way upon the rights of others, including, but not limited to, any copyright, trademark, patent, trade secret, moral right, or other intellectual property or proprietary right of any person or entity;
- impersonates another or is unlawful, threatening, abusive, libelous, defamatory, invasive of privacy or publicity rights, vulgar, obscene, profane, pornographic, or otherwise objectionable;
- includes personal information of others such as messages which identify phone numbers, social security numbers, account numbers, addresses, or employer references;
- contains a formula, instruction, or advice that could cause harm or injury; or
- results in the transmission of junk e-mail, chain letters, duplicative or unsolicited messages, or so-called “spamming” and “phishing.”
Moreover, any conduct by a user that in our sole discretion restricts or inhibits any other user from using or enjoying the Site will not be permitted.
We do not guarantee any confidentiality with respect to any Submission even if it is not published on the Site. It is solely your responsibility to monitor and protect any intellectual property rights that you may have in your Submissions, and we do not accept any responsibility for the same.
We reserve the right to display advertisements in connection with your Submission and to use your Submission for advertising and promotional purposes. You acknowledge and agree that your Submission may be included on the websites and advertising networks of our distribution partners and third-party vendors.
If you’re under 13 years old, we’re impressed that you’re spending your time looking up quotes from influential people rather than Tweeting your friends all day long. However, the Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act prohibits us from collecting certain information from you, so don’t submit any quotes to our website or email suggestions to us. Please also do not register for our Subscription Service. Our submission form permits uploaders to email suggestions to us, and our Subscription Service requires that you provide your email address, user name, and password which would mean we have your user name and your email address… but we don’t want to know your username, and we don’t want to see your email address. If you’re under 13, do not share your information with us! Thanks.
This Site may include hyperlinks to other websites which are not maintained by LifeQuoteSayings. We are not responsible for the content of such external websites and we make no representations whatsoever concerning the content or accuracy of, opinions expressed in, or other links provided by such websites. The inclusion of any hyperlink to external websites does not imply endorsement by LifeQuoteSayings of those websites or any products or services referred to therein. The terms of service and privacy policies applicable to external websites may be different from those applicable to our Site. If you decide to access any external website through a link within our Site, you do so entirely at your own risk, and LifeQuoteSayings will have no liability for any loss or damage arising from your access or use of any external website. Since LifeQuoteSayings is not responsible for the availability of these websites, or their content, you should direct any concerns regarding an external website to the administrator of that website. You agree that you will bring no suit or claim against us arising from or based upon any such use of external websites. Hyperlinks to other websites that are provided on the Site are not intended to imply that: (a) we are affiliated or associated with any external website; or (b) any linked site is authorized to use any of our trademarks, trade names, logos, or copyrights.
9. Copyright (Yours & Ours)
Despite being the largest (and nearly the oldest) quotation website on the Internet, we haven’t yet become so megalomaniacal as to declare we own the exclusive rights to quotes that other people have said. However, we do own the copyright to the arrangement of information on the Site.
Plus, we can make you agree to stuff through this contract that further limits your rights, such as by writing this: You agree not to copy, distribute, display, disseminate, or otherwise reproduce any of the information on our Site, or our Site itself, without our prior written permission. This includes, but is not limited to, all original content (such as BUT NOT LIMITED TO! articles, photographs, biographies) and a prohibition on collecting aggregated information from our Site that is in the public domain and publishing it elsewhere. This prohibition does not extend to uses which would, if governed solely by the copyright law of the United States, be considered a “fair use.”
In other words, by accepting this Agreement, you can use our stuff for legitimate academic, research, and reporting projects, but you can’t use it to just copy and paste a bunch of our stuff on your own website. That hurts our search engine rankings, not to mention our feelings. We’d also point out that we don’t pay for anything you submit to us via our submission form or suggestion email inbox simply because you provide it of your own volition. By submitting material to us, you acknowledge that you have the right to do so, and that you completely transfer to us any rights you might have had in the submission.
Also, all photographs published on LifeQuoteSayings, and on our ‘Quote of the Day’ social media pages on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Google+, are protected by copyright. Our photographs are so awesome, we’ve watermarked each and every one of them. You agree not to copy, distribute, display, disseminate, or otherwise reproduce LifeQuoteSayings photographs, without our prior written permission. That said, there is one exception: You can share our photographs via social media as long as, and only if, they link back to LifeQuoteSayings or the Site. If you steal our images, publish them and link them back to your own website, we will find you… and that won’t be good! Share our photographs, enjoy them, be inspired by them – do not infringe on them, and we will remain friends.
10. Procedure for Making Claims of Copyright Infringement.
We respect the intellectual property rights of others and expect users to do the same. In accordance with the Digital Millennium Copyright Act of 1998, Title 17 of the United States Code, Section 512 (“DMCA”), we will respond promptly to claims of copyright infringement that are reported to the agent that we have designated to receive notifications of claims of infringement (the “Designated Agent”).
If you are a copyright owner (or authorized to act on behalf of the copyright owner) and have a good faith belief that your work’s copyright is being infringed, you should submit a written notification to our Designated Agent that includes: (a) your contact information, including your name, address, telephone number, and email address; (b) identification and description of each copyrighted work that you claim has been infringed; (c) the exact URL or location of the material that you claim is infringing; (d) a statement by you that you have a good faith belief that the disputed use is not authorized by the copyright owner, its agent, or the law; (e) an electronic or physical signature of the person authorized to act on behalf of the owner of the copyright interest; and (f) a statement by you, made under penalty of perjury, that the information in your notice is accurate and that you are the copyright owner or are authorized to act on behalf of the copyright owners. Upon receipt of a bona fide infringement notification by the Designated Agent, it is our policy to remove or disable access to the infringing material, notify the user that we have removed or disabled access to the material and, for repeat offenders, to terminate such user’s access to the Site.
Please note that Section 512(f) of the DMCA may impose liability for damages of any person who knowingly sends meritless notices of infringement. Please do not make false claims.
Any information or correspondence that you provide to us may be shared with third parties, including the person who provided us with the allegedly infringing material.
If you believe that your content should not have been removed for alleged copyright infringement, you may send our Designated Agent a written counter-notice with the following information: (a) identification of the copyrighted work that was removed, and the location on the Site where it would have been found prior to its removal; (b) a statement, under penalty of perjury, that you have a good faith belief that the content was removed as a result of a mistake or misidentification; and (c) your physical or electronic signature, together with your contact information (address, telephone number and, if available, email address).
If a counter-notice is received by the Designated Agent, we may send a copy of the counter-notice to the original complaining party informing that person that we may replace the removed material or cease disabling it in 10 business days. Unless the copyright owner files an action seeking a court order against the user, the removed material may be replaced or access to it restored in 10 to 14 business days or more after receipt of the counter-notice, at our discretion.
LifeQuoteSayings(R) is a trademark owned by us, LifeQuoteSayings, Inc., to uniquely identify our famous quotations website. You agree not to use this term anywhere without our prior written consent. In other words, by accepting this Agreement, you cannot use the name LifeQuoteSayings for any purpose, and you cannot use our logo on your own website, your blog, use it as your Facebook or Twitter icon, to create a temporary tattoo, or any other cockamamie reason. Now, if you get a permanent LifeQuoteSayings tattoo, we want to see it. (Photo or it didn’t happen!) We know the LifeQuoteSayings name and logo is cool, but it’s our property, not yours. Got it? Good.
Additionally, you agree not to use our trade dress, or copy the look and feel of our Site or its design, without our prior written consent. What is a trade dress, you ask? We’re not quite sure ourselves, but our lawyers assure us that it doesn’t involve wearing a tux to a black-tie event. You agree that this paragraph goes beyond the governing law on intellectual property, and includes prohibitions on any competition that violates the provisions of this paragraph.
12. Revocation of Consent
Where LifeQuoteSayings has given prior written consent for your use of our protected material in accordance with our above “Copyright” and “Trademarks” provisions, we may revoke that consent at any time. If we so request, demand, yell, pontificate, or filibuster, we may require that you immediately take action to remove from circulation, display, publication, or other dissemination, any of the marks, copyrighted content, or other materials that we previously consented for you to use.
13. Termination of Access
We reserve the right, in our sole discretion, to terminate, restrict access to or discontinue service to the Site (or any portions, components, or features thereof) to you or anyone else, for any reason or for no reason (“Termination”), at any time, without notice or liability, including without limitation: (a) if we determine that you failed to comply with the letter or the spirit of the Terms, Additional Terms, or other agreements or guidelines; (b) in response to requests by law enforcement or government agencies; (c) at your request (self-initiated account deletions); (d) in connection with the discontinuance or material modification of the Site (or any part thereof); (e) in connection with unexpected technical or security issues or problems; or (f) following extended periods of inactivity. Termination of your access and/or Account(s) may include: (i) removal of access to the Subscription Services; (ii) at our sole discretion, the deletion of all of your Account information and other content associated with your Account (or any part thereof), including your Submissions; and (iii) barring further use of the Subscription Services.
Any Termination shall not affect your obligations to us under these Terms. The provisions of these Terms which by their nature should survive the suspension or Termination of your access to or use of the Site, your Account, or these Terms shall survive including, but not limited to the rights and licenses that you have granted hereunder, indemnities, releases, disclaimers, limitations on liability, provisions related to choice of law, arbitration and dispute resolution, no class action, no trial by jury, and all of the miscellaneous provisions set forth below.
THE USE OF THIS SITE BY YOU IS AT YOUR SOLE RISK. ACCORDINGLY, THE SITE AND THE CONTENT ARE PROVIDED “AS IS” AND “AS AVAILABLE,” WITHOUT WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, WHETHER EXPRESS OR IMPLIED. ALL SUCH WARRANTIES ARE EXPRESSLY DISCLAIMED. WE MAKE NO REPRESENTATIONS OR WARRANTIES: (a) AS TO THE MERCHANTABILITY OF OUR SERVICE OR FITNESS FOR ANY PARTICULAR PURPOSE; (b) THAT THE USE OF THIS SITE OR ANY THIRD PARTY WEBSITE WILL BE UNINTERRUPTED OR ERROR-FREE; (c) THAT THE USE OF THIS SITE OR ANY SUCH THIRD PARTY WEBSITE WILL ALLOW YOU TO OBTAIN ANY PARTICULAR RESULTS WHATSOEVER; (d) THAT THE QUOTES OR ANY OTHER INFORMATION PROVIDED THROUGH THIS SITE OR ANY THIRD PARTY WEBSITE ARE OR WILL BE ACCURATE, CURRENT, COMPLETE, RELIABLE, OR OF ANY PARTICULAR VALUE OR QUALITY; (e) THAT ANY DEFECTS IN THE SITE OR ITS CONTENT WILL BE CORRECTED; OR (f) THAT THE SITE AND ITS CONTENTS ARE FREE OF VIRUSES OR OTHER DISABLING DEVICES OR HARMFUL COMPONENTS.
WE MAKE NO REPRESENTATION THAT THE SITE OR ITS CONTENTS IS APPROPRIATE OR AVAILABLE FOR USE IN LOCATIONS OTHER THAN THE UNITED STATES. IF YOU CHOOSE TO ACCESS THIS SITE FROM LOCATIONS OTHER THAN IN THE UNITED STATES, YOU DO SO AT YOUR OWN INITIATIVE, AT YOUR OWN RISK, AND ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR COMPLYING WITH APPLICABLE LOCAL LAWS.
WE ASSUME NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE TIMELINESS, DELETION, MIS-DELIVERY OR FAILURE TO PROVIDE ANY CONTENT OR TO STORE ANY PERSONALIZATION SETTINGS OR USER MATERIALS. ANY CONTENT DOWNLOADED OR OTHERWISE OBTAINED THROUGH THE SITE IS DOWNLOADED AND/OR USED AT YOUR SOLE DISCRETION AND RISK AND YOU WILL BE SOLELY RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY DAMAGE TO YOUR COMPUTER SYSTEM OR LOSS OF DATA THAT RESULTS FROM THE DOWNLOAD OR USE OF ANY SUCH CONTENT. NO ADVICE OR INFORMATION, WHETHER ORAL OR WRITTEN, OBTAINED BY YOU FROM LIFEQUOTESAYINGS OR THROUGH OR FROM THE SITE SHALL CREATE ANY WARRANTY NOT EXPRESSLY STATED IN THESE TERMS.
YES IT IS REALLY IMPORTANT THAT THESE DISCLAIMERS ARE IN ALL-CAPS. why? don’t ask us! we prefer writing like our buddy e e cummings… small caps, all the time.
15. Limitation of Liability
IN NO EVENT WILL LIFEQUOTESAYINGS, ITS CONTRACTORS, SUPPLIERS, CONTENT-PROVIDERS, AND OTHER SIMILAR ENTITIES, AND THE OFFICERS, DIRECTORS, EMPLOYEES, REPRESENTATIVES, AND AGENTS OF EACH OF THE FOREGOING (COLLECTIVELY, OUR “REPRESENTATIVES”), BE LIABLE TO YOU, OR ANY THIRD PARTY FOR ANY LOSSES OR DAMAGES, INCLUDING ANY INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, INCIDENTAL, PUNITIVE, SPECIAL OR SIMILAR DAMAGES, ALLEGED UNDER ANY LEGAL THEORY IN RELATION TO OR ARISING FROM THIS AGREEMENT OR OUR SERVICE, FOR REASONS INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, FAILURE OF OUR SERVICE, NEGLIGENCE, OR ANY OTHER TORT. TO THE EXTENT THAT APPLICABLE LAW RESTRICTS THE EXCLUSION OR LIMITATION OF LIABILITY FOR CERTAIN DAMAGES, YOU AGREE THAT WE ARE ONLY LIABLE TO YOU FOR THE MINIMUM AMOUNT OF DAMAGES THAT THE LAW RESTRICTS OUR LIABILITY TO, IF SUCH A MINIMUM EXISTS. SOME STATES DO NOT ALLOW THE EXCLUSION OR LIMITATION OF INCIDENTAL OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES, SO THE ABOVE LIMITATION OR EXCLUSION MAY NOT APPLY TO YOU.
WITHOUT LIMITING ANY OF THE FOREGOING, IF LIFEQUOTESAYINGS OR ANY OF ITS REPRESENTATIVES IS FOUND LIABLE TO YOU OR TO ANY THIRD PARTY AS A RESULT OF ANY CLAIMS OR OTHER MATTERS ARISING UNDER OR IN CONNECTION WITH THIS AGREEMENT, THE SITE, OR YOUR USE OF THE SITE OR ITS CONTENTS, THE MAXIMUM LIABILITY FOR ALL SUCH CLAIMS AND OTHER MATTERS WILL NOT EXCEED $100 IN ANY CALENDAR YEAR.
If you prefer, we will pay you in quotes, all in a language you can’t read, and sent in giant stone tablets on your front porch. Ok, we’re kidding since that would cost a lot of money, but really… Please don’t sue us.
You agree to defend, indemnify and hold us and our Representatives harmless for any claims by you or any third party which may arise from or relate to this Agreement or the provision of our service to you, including any damages caused by your use of the Site, its content and any services available on or through the Site or acceptance of the offers contained on it or your breach of these Terms. You also agree that you have a duty to defend us against such claims, and we may require you to pay for an attorney(s) of our choice in such cases. However, we reserve, and you grant to us, the right to assume the exclusive defense and control of any matter subject to indemnification by you hereunder. You agree that this indemnity extends to requiring you to pay for our reasonable attorneys’ fees, court costs, and disbursements. In the event of a claim such as one described in this paragraph, we may elect to settle with the party/parties making the claim, and you shall be liable for the damages as though we had proceeded with a trial.
This Agreement shall be governed by the laws in force in the State of Washington, without regard to conflict-of-law principles. The offer and acceptance of this contract is deemed to have occurred in the State of Washington. You agree that any dispute arising from or relating to this Agreement will be heard solely by a court of competent jurisdiction in the State of Washington.
If you bring a dispute in a manner other than in accordance with this section, in the words of George Herbert Walker Bush, “This will not stand, this aggression…” You agree that we may move to have it dismissed, and that you will be responsible for our reasonable attorneys’ fees, court costs, car and kids’ college tuition payments, and disbursements in doing so. Ok, so we’re kidding about the car and kids’ tuition… unless you want to pay for it (after all, Ivy league college is expensive).
You agree that the prevailing party is entitled to all of its reasonable attorneys’ fees, court costs, and disbursements from the unsuccessful party in any dispute. To the victor go the spoils!
18. Waiver Of Jury Trial
YOU HEREBY KNOWINGLY AND VOLUNTARILY WAIVE THE RIGHT TO A JURY TRIAL IN ANY ACTION, SUIT, OR PROCEEDING ARISING OUT OF OR RELATING TO THIS AGREEMENT AND THE MATTERS CONTEMPLATED HEREBY.
19. Force Majeure
You agree that we are not responsible to you for anything that we may otherwise be responsible for, if it is the result of events beyond our control, including, but not limited to, acts of God, war, insurrection, riots, terrorism, crime, labor shortages (including lawful and unlawful strikes), embargoes, attacks from outer space, postal disruption, communication disruption, failure or shortage of infrastructure, shortage of materials, or any other event beyond our control.
20. Waiver and Severability
Our waiver of any breach of this Agreement will not be a waiver of any preceding or subsequent breach. In the event that a provision of this Agreement is found to be unlawful, conflicting with another provision of the Agreement, or otherwise unenforceable, the Agreement will remain in force as though it had been entered into without that unenforceable provision being included in it.
You may not assign your rights and/or obligations under this Agreement to any other party without our prior written consent. We may assign our rights and/or obligations under this Agreement to any other party at our discretion.
Any provisions of this Agreement that are reasonably inferable to have been intended to survive termination (including, but not limited to, any provisions regarding limitation of our liability or indemnification) will continue in effect beyond any such termination of access to this Site.
We hope you have enjoyed reading our epic Terms of Service. We are not sure why you have so much time on your hands, but congratulations on your life of leisure. Quiz coming soon!
Last updated: March 17, 2019
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Do not duplicate or redistribute in any form. We paid a lot to make these terms of service funny for our readers – so go make your own!